When talking to a group of woman who has been through domestic violence. I ask them:
When did they know that they was moving forward towards the road of freedom
here is two responds
One Lady by the name of Linda said when she started dating if a man would raise his arm quickly she would jump out of her seat. She said she knew then that it was not time for her to get into another relationship nor date.
Even the sound of a door slamming, a balloon busting a car door slamming would send them into anxiety Linda said she had to get back to the sounds in the environment she was in and it took a while for her to do that.
Some woman who are trying to move towards the road of freedom from domestic violence said it takes some years some had physiological disorders and some kept themselves in a HOLD IT environment. Kathy said she also felt all the slamming and banging which put her in fear for a while and she wanted to get on the path to freedom from domestic violence. She said she hid her heart and became independent and the brick wall she built around herself was hard for a man to break. After more than a year when she met her husband she said he would say it was hard for him to love her. The fears she had that he would hurt her or mistreat her. He said just reaching out to comfort her she would shy away when talking to Kathy's husband Anthony he said "it was like dating and your parents would sit between you" He also said "she didn't look into his eyes and she pulled back each time he would try to kiss her, he then knew someone had abuse her and he had extra work to do." I love this couple today they are 20 years married.
Some say that a child who was abuse at an early age grow up to be abuse with irrational judgements. Please do not believe this way of thinking. Some people who say this have no ideal what abuse is they never experience it though they may have seen it in the
physical form. Let's Take another look
Example Of a Pattern of Abuse
Some foster Parent are not bad this Forster parent Connie had was.
A little girl name Connie Johnson was told repeatedly for years by her foster parent that she was going to grow up and become nothing, and she was told she was ugly, and no one wanted her. Through Connie's horrific beatings and mistreatment's Connie's willpower and determination allow her to began a journey to prove her Forster
parent was wrong she began to received good grades and through the years Connie told herself she was somebody, she exits and her name was Connie she developed a compassion and need to help others although she was one of the less fortunate.
In essence there are some people who were abuse as a child and became professional and successful in all they do .
Another Pattern of Abuse the opposite side
Another child under his Bad foster parent who also was abusive and mistreated him said he was never going to mount to nothing and that he was going to grow up to be just like his dad a criminal. Through the years of being told this he latch on to it and he became angry and did not understand who he was . He devolve a physiological issue, mental depression unable to be control by others ending up as a runaway, homeless, a thief using drugs, a alcoholic later a prison sentences of life.
In summing up these examples of patterns
one child was told the same thing as the other Child. One child made a difference to do better while the other had believe in the statement.
These are different ways to look at patterns of abuse,
While one child had children and never abuse them nor mistreated them she strive to reach out to help others because of the abuse she had went though. Then the other child did much different ending up being lock up in a world were his freedom of being able to find out who he was, was taken away. He past away and was never given the chance to find out who he really was.
If you know anyone who is going thought any kinds of abuse there are places that can reach back and help
joyful heart foundations
Reach back and save a child.