DOMESTIC VIOLENCE AWARENESS
The Path to the Road of Freedom April 2, 2018
Earlene Walker
Author, Writer and Publisher |
Chalmer Thompson
College Professor and Activist |
We have decided to make a critical decision to help others who are trying to GET OUT of Domestic Violence. Therefore, in this pamphlet, we want to share some vital steps to anyone who decides that the violence must end and who chooses to take the path to freedom. Any act that entails harming someone in order to control her or him is unacceptable. It can also lead to anxiety, out of control rage, and mental illness, like depression. Many times, the people who commit these acts were themselves abused earlier in their lives. This means that if you are the target of abuse, you stand a chance of abusing others despite your intentions to do otherwise.
Abuse is defined as a form of violence that is physical, emotional, and sexual. Abusers commit battery and sexual assault and can intimidate and constantly harass their victims. These are crimes and the abuser can face criminal charges The victims can experience bodily harm, including broken bones and physical disfigurements. These scars are not always easily hidden or explained away. The victims can end up in the hospital and even die.
So how do we get on the path to the road of freedom? We start first by making a plan.
A Plan for Safety
There are boulders and thorns in the way and these obstacles may be the hardest to overcome and in deciding to leave but you must GET OUT!
On your journey on the path, you should first notice certain signs. The very first sign is that the abuse is occurring; this may not be easy for people to acknowledge. Relationships should never entail violence of any sort. If you have doubts about this first step, understand that your abuser does not regard you highly if they abuse you, despite their efforts to ask for forgiveness or to urge you to overlook the abuse because their actions are merely ways of expressing their affection for you. They may also use the excuse that they are in trouble or stressed out. They may indeed be troubled or stressed out, but there are far better ways to relieve their problems than to harm you!
Furthermore, other people in your life who encourage you to contend with the violence have ‘blinders’ that prevent them from seeing violence as unequivocally wrong. Find people who understand that the abuse should never happen. They are your true supporters, and they are out there, even if they may be hard to find at times.
Here are other signs that effects the victim.
1. You feel scared and alone. You also feel sad or worse – depressed to the point of hurting yourself or others.
2. You don’t feel good about yourself. You feel that you deserve the abuse; NO one deserves abuse, and for those who do wrongful things, there are outlets for contending with these wrongs than to rely on the unacceptable behaviors of an abuser.
3.The abuser is watching nearly all of your actions. They do not trust you and may even suspect that you are cheating on them and spending too much time with family or friends. These are signs of the abuser’s insecurities and their unhealthy need to control you.
4. You find yourself protecting the abuser by making excuses for his behavior.
5. You hide your scars and ‘put on a false face’ when you are with other people because you don’t want these other people to suspect that you are being abused.
6. You feel fear, even utter mortification, at the thought of leaving the abuser. You fear that your abuser will take out their anger on you, perhaps even kill you. Therefore, your reasons for staying in the relationship have more to do with your safety than with feelings you have toward the abuser.
7.You care about or love the abuser you are helping your abuser violated that its ok.
8.You don’t believe you can realistically survive without the financial resources the abuser provides.
Finding Peace and happiness on the road to freedom
A good path happens when everything is going well.
A bad path happens when things go wrong.
Being afraid someone is dangerous it can cause agitation and distress.
.A. It is only an illusion.
B. It grows when we listen to it.
C. Remain calm; there are resources and steps that can be taken to protect yourself
D. Take self-defense classes.
E. File restraining orders with your local police department.
F. Surround yourself with positive people who will help you build your trust.
Low self-esteem: To feel unworthy and poorly about oneself.
A. What do you want to happen to make you feel confident about yourself?
B. What goals do you want to accomplish?
Goals: What do you need to get rid of?
A. The feeling of guilt by keeping the abuse hidden along with the bruises.
B. Try not to confront, contact, or go back during this very dangerous time.
C. Alert yourself that you will never again allow someone to abuse or hurt you EVER.
D. Finally, in protecting the abuser, be aware that their anger can grow when nothing is done.
Hurt: Pain does not discriminate. It’s a sign of improper care and very unhealthy to the body.
A. Taking care of the body is essential to your health.
B. We must protect it from any harm or damages.
Abuse is never perfect or good. It’s a choice one makes about his or her behavior.
Love: So many forget what love really is while going through Domestic Violence. The hurt, pain, and verbal abuse gains strength and overpowers thinking patterns. Love doesn’t exist when someone intends to have you at your lowest point. It doesn’t exist when you believe no one cares.
WHAT IS LOVE
In the bible the book of Corinthians chapter 13 verse 4 -7 tells us what love is:
Love is patient,
Love is kind.
It does not envy
It does not boast
It’s not proud
It does not dishonor others
It is not self-seeking
It’s not easily angered
It keeps no record of wrongs
Love does not delight in evil
But rejoice with truth
It always protects
Always trust
Always hope
Always preserves
Trust: when you have a firm belief in someone. acceptance of the truth.
Peace: while in seclusion, there is quietness and a feeling of the weight being lifted. While at peace, you are more focused on you. It gives you stillness, and the time to collect thoughts of the future. No more running, crying, hurting, or being the constant protector of your wounds. It’s your time to move forward on your journey, and to feel as though your journey has brought you comfort.
Happiness is the end of the road to freedom. It’s a pleasure of joy, delight, and good spirits.
Resources
Dial 211 for help if it’s an emergency Dial 911
Domestic Violence – National Domestic Violence Hotline 24-hour Hotline: 1-800-799-SAFE (7233)
Sexual Abuse – Rape, Abuse, and Incest National Network (RAINN) 24-hour Hotline: 1-800-656-4673
Suicidal Thoughts – National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 24-hour Hotline: 1-800-273-TALK (8255)
Human Trafficking – National Human Trafficking Resource Center 24-hour Hotline: 1-888-373-7888
Shelters
Domestic Violence Resources- City of Indianapolis
www.indy.gov › IndyGov › Local Government › County › Sheriff › Public Services
Home- The National Domestic hot line
www.theonline.org/
Indianapolis IN domestic violence help programs – domestic shelters
https://www.domesticshelters.org/indianapolis-in-domestic-violence-help
Julian Center/ Main Site
http://www.juliancenter.org/
Beacon of Hope Crisis Center
https://www.beaconofhopeindy.org/
Indianapolis IN women’s shelter transitional housing
https://www.womenshelters.org/cit/in-indianapolis
Abuse is defined as a form of violence that is physical, emotional, and sexual. Abusers commit battery and sexual assault and can intimidate and constantly harass their victims. These are crimes and the abuser can face criminal charges The victims can experience bodily harm, including broken bones and physical disfigurements. These scars are not always easily hidden or explained away. The victims can end up in the hospital and even die.
So how do we get on the path to the road of freedom? We start first by making a plan.
A Plan for Safety
There are boulders and thorns in the way and these obstacles may be the hardest to overcome and in deciding to leave but you must GET OUT!
On your journey on the path, you should first notice certain signs. The very first sign is that the abuse is occurring; this may not be easy for people to acknowledge. Relationships should never entail violence of any sort. If you have doubts about this first step, understand that your abuser does not regard you highly if they abuse you, despite their efforts to ask for forgiveness or to urge you to overlook the abuse because their actions are merely ways of expressing their affection for you. They may also use the excuse that they are in trouble or stressed out. They may indeed be troubled or stressed out, but there are far better ways to relieve their problems than to harm you!
Furthermore, other people in your life who encourage you to contend with the violence have ‘blinders’ that prevent them from seeing violence as unequivocally wrong. Find people who understand that the abuse should never happen. They are your true supporters, and they are out there, even if they may be hard to find at times.
Here are other signs that effects the victim.
1. You feel scared and alone. You also feel sad or worse – depressed to the point of hurting yourself or others.
2. You don’t feel good about yourself. You feel that you deserve the abuse; NO one deserves abuse, and for those who do wrongful things, there are outlets for contending with these wrongs than to rely on the unacceptable behaviors of an abuser.
3.The abuser is watching nearly all of your actions. They do not trust you and may even suspect that you are cheating on them and spending too much time with family or friends. These are signs of the abuser’s insecurities and their unhealthy need to control you.
4. You find yourself protecting the abuser by making excuses for his behavior.
5. You hide your scars and ‘put on a false face’ when you are with other people because you don’t want these other people to suspect that you are being abused.
6. You feel fear, even utter mortification, at the thought of leaving the abuser. You fear that your abuser will take out their anger on you, perhaps even kill you. Therefore, your reasons for staying in the relationship have more to do with your safety than with feelings you have toward the abuser.
7.You care about or love the abuser you are helping your abuser violated that its ok.
8.You don’t believe you can realistically survive without the financial resources the abuser provides.
Finding Peace and happiness on the road to freedom
A good path happens when everything is going well.
A bad path happens when things go wrong.
Being afraid someone is dangerous it can cause agitation and distress.
.A. It is only an illusion.
B. It grows when we listen to it.
C. Remain calm; there are resources and steps that can be taken to protect yourself
D. Take self-defense classes.
E. File restraining orders with your local police department.
F. Surround yourself with positive people who will help you build your trust.
Low self-esteem: To feel unworthy and poorly about oneself.
A. What do you want to happen to make you feel confident about yourself?
B. What goals do you want to accomplish?
Goals: What do you need to get rid of?
A. The feeling of guilt by keeping the abuse hidden along with the bruises.
B. Try not to confront, contact, or go back during this very dangerous time.
C. Alert yourself that you will never again allow someone to abuse or hurt you EVER.
D. Finally, in protecting the abuser, be aware that their anger can grow when nothing is done.
Hurt: Pain does not discriminate. It’s a sign of improper care and very unhealthy to the body.
A. Taking care of the body is essential to your health.
B. We must protect it from any harm or damages.
Abuse is never perfect or good. It’s a choice one makes about his or her behavior.
Love: So many forget what love really is while going through Domestic Violence. The hurt, pain, and verbal abuse gains strength and overpowers thinking patterns. Love doesn’t exist when someone intends to have you at your lowest point. It doesn’t exist when you believe no one cares.
WHAT IS LOVE
In the bible the book of Corinthians chapter 13 verse 4 -7 tells us what love is:
Love is patient,
Love is kind.
It does not envy
It does not boast
It’s not proud
It does not dishonor others
It is not self-seeking
It’s not easily angered
It keeps no record of wrongs
Love does not delight in evil
But rejoice with truth
It always protects
Always trust
Always hope
Always preserves
Trust: when you have a firm belief in someone. acceptance of the truth.
Peace: while in seclusion, there is quietness and a feeling of the weight being lifted. While at peace, you are more focused on you. It gives you stillness, and the time to collect thoughts of the future. No more running, crying, hurting, or being the constant protector of your wounds. It’s your time to move forward on your journey, and to feel as though your journey has brought you comfort.
Happiness is the end of the road to freedom. It’s a pleasure of joy, delight, and good spirits.
Resources
Dial 211 for help if it’s an emergency Dial 911
Domestic Violence – National Domestic Violence Hotline 24-hour Hotline: 1-800-799-SAFE (7233)
Sexual Abuse – Rape, Abuse, and Incest National Network (RAINN) 24-hour Hotline: 1-800-656-4673
Suicidal Thoughts – National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 24-hour Hotline: 1-800-273-TALK (8255)
Human Trafficking – National Human Trafficking Resource Center 24-hour Hotline: 1-888-373-7888
Shelters
Domestic Violence Resources- City of Indianapolis
www.indy.gov › IndyGov › Local Government › County › Sheriff › Public Services
Home- The National Domestic hot line
www.theonline.org/
Indianapolis IN domestic violence help programs – domestic shelters
https://www.domesticshelters.org/indianapolis-in-domestic-violence-help
Julian Center/ Main Site
http://www.juliancenter.org/
Beacon of Hope Crisis Center
https://www.beaconofhopeindy.org/
Indianapolis IN women’s shelter transitional housing
https://www.womenshelters.org/cit/in-indianapolis